My mother passed away four years ago on September 2.

I couldn't wait to win my million dollars !!!

I had just landed in VEGAS BABY and couldn't wait to start donating money to the Nevada economy.  Whenever I land anywhere, I can't wait to turn on my phone to update my location on facebook !!  Let the party begin.  And there was a text from my sister.  Call SICU HSC.  

Health Sciences Centre was in my home of Winnipeg and I had no familiarty with Surgical Intensive Care Unit.  I spoke to a doctor who said that my mother had severe sepsis and they had just amputated her left leg above her knee.  He said he classified my mother as the sickest person in Winnipeg.  I indicated I would fly home immediately and I hoped I had time to get there to say good-bye.  

I turned around to the customer service counter.  They were able to get me on a plane right away to begin my journey home.  They weren't able to do anything about the four hour layover in Denver.  

I cried all the way to Denver.  My mother and I always loved each other, but we didn't have many moments when we liked each other.  My mom and I were like oil and water and seemed to have nothing in common.  They say you only hurt the ones you love so my mom and I must have loved each other very much because we both hurt each other a lot.  Sharp tongues and knowing each others buttons were the biggest things we had in common.  We always apologized and pledged to do better but we never seemed to be able to do this.  She was there at my beginning.  I wanted to be there at her ending so the last words I spoke to her were filled with love.  I just cried and cried and hoped and prayed.  

Once I got to Denver and confirmed that I had no influence in getting an earlier fight, I settled down in a bar and drank doubles of her favorite drink.  Pretty soon, I was laughing pretty heartily.  We had a lot of bad times, but we also had a lot of good times together.  It made me understand why we had some bad times.  I was jealous of my mom.  She was so much fun and could make friends anywhere.  She was always the life of the party and wherever she was, a party seemed to follow.  I wasn't blessed with her social intelligence and I was jealous.  The four hours went pretty quickly.  I became sober pretty quickly when presented with my bar tab.  Airport lounges aren't cheap.  

Back en route to Winnipeg, I realized the important thing was that I didn't want my mom to suffer or to be in pain.  Whether we said good-bye in person or not was not the most important factor.  I didn't want to be selfish.  I wanted what was best for my mom.  

She had her own "suite" in SICU and a Nurse assigned just to her.  She was hooked up to so many things.  When she saw me, she gave me heck for cutting my Vegas trip short and she had given me money to bet.  She also told me I looked terrible and couldn't I had least put on makeup and make myself look half-decent.  My mom was going to be fine.  

Since I was on vacation anyway, I had a week to spend with my mom.  By the end of the week, she was transferred to the Rehab Unit.  I had to go back to work and went to see her before and after work.  

She was sharing a room with a 21 year old man who was in an accident.  They mutually annoyed each other, however, they both declined when offered to move.  Towards the end of her stay, they had to be moved to a room accommodating 4 people.  Both my mom and Troy said, "as long as we're still in the same room, it doesn't matter to us."  

Once in Rehab, my mom was able to resume her smoking.  I was her supplier.  I didn't like that she smoked but I was not going to change her.  As it turned out, there were four young men in rehab who also smoked but didn't always have cigarettes.  I was worried about her safety outside smoking so this was a perfect solution.  They would go out smoking with her and keep her safe and help her troubleshoot the journey outside in exchange for a cigarette.  It seemed like a win-win.  

My mom always had the gift of "collecting people" and this happened while in hospital.  When I arrived, she was "holding court" with a group of people.  My shopping list got bigger each day as many of the people who she "collected" didn't have people to help them.  I was buying supplies for a lot of people.  But, it was great for me.  People were excited to see me !!  I was able to share my mother's magic and we were a team.  One day, she called me at work telling me that I needed to come down to the hospital to attend a meeting to advocate for a patient who didn't have anyone to speak for her.  I said I didn't even know the person and I had work.  My mom said that I needed to get the afternoon off because it was important.  My mom was right.  It was important.  

It opened my eyes that perhaps she was right about more things than I gave her credit for.  One day, after I hung up the phone with my mom, I had a thought that I never thought I would ever have.  I thought, "I think my mom is my best friend."  

I thought our challenges were behind us, but then she was released from hospital.  With only one leg and two many diagnoses to write, she needed help.  I moved in to help.  It wasn't easy for either of us, but I am happy to say we had more laughs than tears.  

I heard a story during the time we were together.  And, I laughed when I heard it.  The person I was before my mom got sick would not have laughed.  When I was 16, my mom had a big brown cadillac that she loved.  I drove it once and that was for my road test for my licence and believe me, that was a very big deal and my mother felt cornered in since my dad's truck was a standard.  My parents didn't believe in teaching their children to drive so I learned in driver's ed.  I got a car when I got my licence just so my mom would never let me drive her caddy again.  While my mom was sick, one my best friends told me that my mom had taught her how to drive in the big brown caddy and had taken her driving with it often.  

My mom wanted to die peacefully in her home and she did on September 2, 2014.  My mother loved everyone she met.  I need to follow her example and celebrate her life by doing this more freely.  

I love you, mom.  Thank you for teaching me that all lives matter.