Watching Ford Testify
When I was in grade 10, I had a very close friend who was the little sister of one of the best looking guy of all times. My best friend had a huge crush on him. I would have had a crush on him, too, but, he was out of my league. My friend did have a legitimate shot.
The little sister let us know about a weekend that her parents were out of town. Her brother was having about 8 guys over to drink beer and just hang out. These guys would be the really popular guys. They weren't inviting anyone else as they just wanted to hang out and not have a big party. So, my friend said that if he could have people over, she could invite her two best friends.
I don't remember some details like I don't remember how we got there. I know I didn't drive. If I had driven, I wouldn't have gotten drunk. I am guessing this happened before I got my driver's licence.
So, there we were. 3 younger girls and 9 older boys and lots of beer. And this was a long time ago, when we didn't know all the things we know now. My best friend got the attention of her crush. Big time. They went up to his bedroom. I knew my friend was probably more drunk than she had been in her life. I also knew that her Catholic faith was a strong part of her identity and that she did not want to lose her virginity that night. I know I was strongly discouraged but I went upstairs and interrupted them. My friend was really upset with me but she got over it very quickly.
When we were been driven home, she was in front seat and there were three of us in the back seat. One guy starting kissing me and I was surprised but into it, even though I was too drunk to consent to anything. His hands started wandering everywhere. I didn't want that to happen but was too drunk to say no. I just remember looking back at my from the front seat. She had a look of both anger and fear. She said very loudly for everyone to hear that I was only one block away from home.
I saw the guy at school on Monday and he pretended he didn't know I existed.
I am watching Dr. Ford testify and she is very smart and her incident also happened decades ago. My favorite answer so far is when she was asked how she could be sure it happened. She answered that it was in the same way that she was sure she was testifying in front of the committee.
I know I am in Canada, but I wonder what would have happened if the guy in the car ended up being nominated as a Supreme Court Justice. Would I feel obligated to come forward? I don't know. Victims seem to be villified and have to relive some experiences they would rather not remember. I know I hadn't thought about the incident until today.
Whatever happened (and I believe Dr. Ford), it seems clear that the man had some issues with alcohol in his youth. Like many of us. Many of us drank to excess in our youth without too many consequences and then turned into acceptable social drinkers as we became adults with responsibilities. From all accounts, Kavanaugh was a mean and belligerent drunk.
It seems he has evolved into a respected Jurist. I don't know if the sins of his youth should affect his nomination, but he is backing himself into a corner by repeatedly denying his behavior. He could actually apologize sincerely and indicate that behaviior was part of his past and even thinking about it sickens him. He could explain how he has evolved and has become part of the solutation and not part of the problem. It is not the accusers that have turned this into a circus, it is Kavanaugh himself by his repeated denials. And he has two young daughters.. He should be thinking of them more than this nomination. His primary responsiblity as a father is to make his daughters feel safe.
George W Bush admitted that he had a problem with alcohol as an early adult. He felt privileged. His wife, Laura, told him to choose between her and his young daughters and alcohol. He chose his family. He was still elected President.
I know that alcohol abuse is different than sexual assault, but, the point is that when people know better, they do better. America is forgiving. If he honestly said that when he was that man, he didn't know any better, and now that he has grown and matured, he has been a better man, his nomination might have been saved.
Why is it go hard to admit when we are wrong and apologize?
I admit that he looked damn impressive when he had his first press conference after he was nominated. He seemed smart, articulate, moderate, funny when appropriate, humble, fair, and displayed common sense. His values seemed good and he seemed to be destined for the Supreme Court. It looks like his life-long dream will be derailed. And, he will have no one to blame but himself. Chances are, though, he won't see it that way.
The little sister let us know about a weekend that her parents were out of town. Her brother was having about 8 guys over to drink beer and just hang out. These guys would be the really popular guys. They weren't inviting anyone else as they just wanted to hang out and not have a big party. So, my friend said that if he could have people over, she could invite her two best friends.
I don't remember some details like I don't remember how we got there. I know I didn't drive. If I had driven, I wouldn't have gotten drunk. I am guessing this happened before I got my driver's licence.
So, there we were. 3 younger girls and 9 older boys and lots of beer. And this was a long time ago, when we didn't know all the things we know now. My best friend got the attention of her crush. Big time. They went up to his bedroom. I knew my friend was probably more drunk than she had been in her life. I also knew that her Catholic faith was a strong part of her identity and that she did not want to lose her virginity that night. I know I was strongly discouraged but I went upstairs and interrupted them. My friend was really upset with me but she got over it very quickly.
When we were been driven home, she was in front seat and there were three of us in the back seat. One guy starting kissing me and I was surprised but into it, even though I was too drunk to consent to anything. His hands started wandering everywhere. I didn't want that to happen but was too drunk to say no. I just remember looking back at my from the front seat. She had a look of both anger and fear. She said very loudly for everyone to hear that I was only one block away from home.
I saw the guy at school on Monday and he pretended he didn't know I existed.
I am watching Dr. Ford testify and she is very smart and her incident also happened decades ago. My favorite answer so far is when she was asked how she could be sure it happened. She answered that it was in the same way that she was sure she was testifying in front of the committee.
I know I am in Canada, but I wonder what would have happened if the guy in the car ended up being nominated as a Supreme Court Justice. Would I feel obligated to come forward? I don't know. Victims seem to be villified and have to relive some experiences they would rather not remember. I know I hadn't thought about the incident until today.
Whatever happened (and I believe Dr. Ford), it seems clear that the man had some issues with alcohol in his youth. Like many of us. Many of us drank to excess in our youth without too many consequences and then turned into acceptable social drinkers as we became adults with responsibilities. From all accounts, Kavanaugh was a mean and belligerent drunk.
It seems he has evolved into a respected Jurist. I don't know if the sins of his youth should affect his nomination, but he is backing himself into a corner by repeatedly denying his behavior. He could actually apologize sincerely and indicate that behaviior was part of his past and even thinking about it sickens him. He could explain how he has evolved and has become part of the solutation and not part of the problem. It is not the accusers that have turned this into a circus, it is Kavanaugh himself by his repeated denials. And he has two young daughters.. He should be thinking of them more than this nomination. His primary responsiblity as a father is to make his daughters feel safe.
George W Bush admitted that he had a problem with alcohol as an early adult. He felt privileged. His wife, Laura, told him to choose between her and his young daughters and alcohol. He chose his family. He was still elected President.
I know that alcohol abuse is different than sexual assault, but, the point is that when people know better, they do better. America is forgiving. If he honestly said that when he was that man, he didn't know any better, and now that he has grown and matured, he has been a better man, his nomination might have been saved.
Why is it go hard to admit when we are wrong and apologize?
I admit that he looked damn impressive when he had his first press conference after he was nominated. He seemed smart, articulate, moderate, funny when appropriate, humble, fair, and displayed common sense. His values seemed good and he seemed to be destined for the Supreme Court. It looks like his life-long dream will be derailed. And, he will have no one to blame but himself. Chances are, though, he won't see it that way.
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